Thursday, March 5, 2009

Coming Soon To a Calgary Casino.....Chris Brown



More lovely details today about Chris Brown aka the new Ike Turner.

Apparently Fox 11 in LA somehow got their dirty little mittens on the police report that was filed the night Chris Brown and Rihanna allegedly re-enacted the Tina Turner biopic, What's Love Got to Do With It. The report allegedly contains the following;

The couple was driving when Rihanna found a text to Chris from another woman. When she angrily confronted him he apparently tried unsuccessfully to push her ass out of the car. Us Weekly says;

Brown became more violent, and then allegedly shoved Rihanna's head against the passenger window. After she turned to face him, Brown punched her, and continued punching her while driving.

Chris also allegedly said "I'm going to beat the ---- out of you when we get home. You wait and see." Charming.

The report continues, Rihanna left a message for her assistant that said, "I am on my way home. Make sure the cops are there when I get there." Brown replied, "You just did the stupidest thing ever. I'm going to kill you."Rihanna's mouth was filled with blood, which also splattered on her clothing and the inside of the rented Lamborghini they were driving. The fight escalated from there.Brown continued to punch Rihanna, bit her ear and fingers and put her in a headlock, causing her to nearly lose consciousness.

What a gentleman!



In more Ike Jr. news, apparently the recent reunion between him and Rihanna, you know the one at Diddy's place Miami where Chris was photographed happily jetskiing, flashing his pearly, girlfriend-biting chompers for the camera? Seriously those chompers rival Hilary Duff in their equine-nature. Anyway, it turns out that reunion might not be a done deal just yet.

The New York Post's Page Six says the two met up in Miami simply to discuss things and that Chris Brown's people tipped off the media, making it look like Rihanna had forgiven him in order for Brown to save his image. Can someone say, Prince Charming?!

Who knows what's true and what's not but if even half this shit is for reals, we can only hope Chris Brown meets the same fate as his late inspiration, Ike Turner.



The years were not kind to dear Ike. While his former punching bag Tina sold a buttload of records, won Grammys, played for millions of fans and generally kicked all kinds of ass, Ike faded away into obscurity, his love of beating a bitch rivaled only by his love of cocaine. In fact when Ike and Tina were indcuted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in 1991, Ike's ass was kickin' it in a jail cell serving time on drug charges. Ike eventually died of a cocaine overdose in 2007 at the age of 76 but not before bringing his sorry, pathetic old ass to Calgary to play a local casino. And not some fancy, downtown, Vegas-style casino, either. I'm talking a busted out, outskirts-located, sad-as-fuck casino. This photo below is of Tina Turner playing to a sold out ARENA crowd in London last fucking night. This amazing bitch is 69 motherfucking years old!



Karma; the force generated by a person's actions held in Hinduism and Buddhism to perpetuate transmigration and in its ethical consequences to determine the nature of the person's next existence.

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